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Once upon a time, in the land of “I’m Too Good For This,” lived a woman so enamoured with herself and her music, she believed the sun needed her permission to rise. Let’s call her Madam Talks-a-Lot. Talks-a-Lot had a secret—a secret so profound, it could only be whispered: “I might be the queen of my own world, but I’m also the King.”
Enter our heroine, Lady Stays-in-Bed, a damsel not in distress but in disbelief. She was trapped in a castle ruled by Madam Talks-a-Lot, where the only dragons were his fiery accusations, and the knights were her multiple personalities, each more charmingly self-absorbed than the last.
Talks-a-Lot’s favourite pastime was jousting with her own reflection, battling tirelessly to prove who was the fairest of them all. “Behold,” she would declare, “for I am both the beauty and the beast.” Meanwhile, Lady Stays-in-Bed couldn’t even venture to the village market without being accused of courting other suitors, or worse, being called a witch for conjuring the audacity to suggest Madam might listen for once.
But our Lady had a secret weapon, a magical device known as Wit. With it, she could see through Talks-a-Lot’s armor of arrogance, revealing the scared little girl inside who once confessed her love for both the knights and the damsels of the tales.
One day, as Talks-a-Lot was preparing for her daily parade of self-praise, Lady Stays-in-Bed said, “Oh mighty Madam perhaps today we could venture beyond the mirror and explore the mystical land of Empathy?”
To which Talks-a-Lot gasped, “Empathy? Is that beyond the Valley of My Achievements? Never heard of it.”
“Yes,” she replied with a smile, “it’s just past the Forest of Listening. Though, I hear it’s a realm where not even the bravest of narcissists dare to tread.”
And so, our saga continues, with Stays-in-Bed wielding her Wit and Patience, hoping one day Talks-a-Lot might embark on the greatest quest of all—discovering that the world doesn’t revolve around her, and that true bravery comes from facing oneself, not from battling shadows.
  • A L F L Ö H R
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  • ARCHIVE
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